


Rid Me Of Sin

by WindMeister8



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Acceptance, April Showers, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Pure, Rain, Rape, Sins, defile, impure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 08:40:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3844405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WindMeister8/pseuds/WindMeister8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is at a loss when you are brought back from.. that place... because you are no longer the person he knew. In the dreaded month of April, will he lose yet another of his dear ones?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rid Me Of Sin

**Author's Note:**

> **(AU Note: For maximum effect, please listen to[this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyWqlBk8U_o))**

Levi stared at your figure as you made your way to your usual table in the mess hall. People you met either gave you a reassuring hug or squeezed your shoulder in a silent gesture that implied that they were always there for you. You smiled at them in response but Levi could see that your smile was fake. He knew that you were trying to put up a brave front but a deeper scrutiny of your movements and behavior showed the intensity of your pain. But what was most worrying was the look in your eyes – it was the look of a person who was broken emotionally. The spark in your eyes was gone, replaced with two hollow and vacant dark orbs. It was as if your soul had departed from this world, leaving nothing but an empty shell.

“Hey Levi! Are you listening?”  
“Tch, what is it shitty-glasses?” Levi focused his attention back to the brunette sitting across from him.  
“How’s (F/N) holding up?” Hanji asked, a look of concern on her face.  
“How the hell should I know?” Levi replied, irritation plain in his voice.  
“But you’re the closest to her!”  
“I haven’t been able to talk to her for the past few days,” Levi said curtly.

Hanji instantly lapsed into silence. After a few moments, Levi stood up abruptly and walked off with his tray. As he walked past your table, the atmosphere surrounding the two of you became incredibly tense and even the people in the vicinity stopped talking. However, Levi strode out of the mess hall without a single glance in your direction.

“Oh (F/N),” Hanji sighed sympathetically.

* * *

Levi leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh of frustration. He had been staring at the same page of his paperwork for an hour without any progress. The words didn’t register as a meaningful sentence in his head and no amount of tea had helped. Well, maybe another cup might do the trick though. He stood up and headed towards the mess hall. As he wended his way down the winding corridors, he caught sight of you exiting your chambers.

His heart caught in his throat and he decided he could not take it anymore. In a split second, Levi bounded down the stairs and without a moment’s notice pinned you to the wall. You were caught by surprise and when you finally got a look at your captor, you cowered against the wall. Upon seeing the fear in your face, Levi knew that you were lost to him forever and he reluctantly let you go.

As Levi looked at your escaping silhouette, a single tear escaped from the confines of his remorseful grey eyes and fell down to the cold stone floor.

* * *

A week had passed and it was the beginning of April. Everyone dreaded April because of the showers that it brought. Productivity was low and morale was down. Even Hanji seemed listless and worn out. Levi had just brought another cadet to tears and sent her out of his office.

“Tch, these useless brats,” he muttered to himself.  
The sound of rain captured his attention and he turned towards the window. Staring at the small droplets of water on his window pane, he was reminded of how Farlan and Isabel were cruelly torn away from him in this weather. His hands clenched into fists and he thought back to your expression when he had found you in that basement. Why was he never there at the most crucial moment?

As Levi turned back to his paperwork, intent on pushing all the negative thoughts to the back of his mind, movement in the courtyard below caught his eye. Once again, he moved towards the window and looked out. When he saw the familiar silhouette, he instantly dashed out of his office. All the way down to the courtyard, a million thoughts ran through his brain. He couldn’t begin to comprehend the meaning of your actions or your feelings but something told him that he had to be there.

**Reader’s POV:**

You were startled when Levi called your name and your heart sank when you saw the man you loved approaching. 

“Don’t come closer!” you yelled frantically.

Levi stopped a few feet away from you and looked at you with such a painful expression that it shattered the remnants of your heart into a million shards. 

“I’m sorry, (F/N).”  
His words surprised you. Why would he feel apologetic to you?

“If I were there sooner, this would not – “  
“No, Levi. It has nothing to do with you,” you abruptly cut him off.

“It’s me,” you said softly.

“(F/N).” Levi started moving towards you.

“No! Don’t… touch me. I’m dirty. I’m VILE!” you screamed in agony.

* * *

(Flashback)

“(F/N), you really have quite a body,” the man leered at you with those slit eyes that you detested so much.  
“Yeah, we are going to have so much fun with you,” chuckled the other burlier man beside him.  
“Hey guys, don’t go too overboard. We still need her alive,” the leader of them said.

You struggled against your restraints but the metal only served to cut deeper into your flesh, causing you to wince in pain. 

“Don’t worry, no one will disturb us here. We’ll have fun all night,” the slit-eyed man laughed as he removed your restraints while the burly man kept a gun trained on you lest you make any sudden attempts to escape. The leader was also keeping an eagle eye out and didn’t seem to be participating in any of the action. 

You closed your eyes, preparing yourself for the ordeal that was going to take place. There was no other choice but to submit willingly… that is, until you found an opening.

(1 minute later)

“Oh God, (F/N), damn you’re good. I’m sure that Levi wouldn’t want to miss this,” Slit-Eye panted.  
“Nah, Levi’s not going to want you anymore. Not when you’ve been sullied by us. You’re no longer… pure. Defiled by us,” Burly sneered at your kneeling form.

You could hardly withstand the psychological torture anymore; the thought of Levi looking at you with disdainful eyes would break your soul. As Burly was reaching his climax, and Slit-Eye behind you was in a similar state, you finally made your move.

Simultaneously, you bit down hard on Burly’s stick in front of you, drawing blood from his flesh and lashed out with your right leg, kicking Slit-Eye in his shin. The leader was startled but had already started moving towards the gun that laid by his side. In a flash, you snatched the protruding knife from Slit-Eye’s discarded pants and promptly threw it at the leader, hitting his gun hand and eliciting a scream from him.

Before Slit-Eye could react, you kneed him hard in the groin and gave a fast chop to his neck, thus bringing him down to the ground. Burly was still clutching his member in pain and shouting curse words at you. Your body was in overdrive and you closed the distance between yourself and the leader. Removing the knife from his bleeding hand in one swift motion, you plunged the knife into his heart and twisted it deeper for good measure. The contorted look of pain on his face brought you deep pleasure and you grinned maniacally. 

Turning back to the two men who had so violently played with your body and mind, you deliberately walked slowly towards them, twirling the knife in your hand. 

“It’s pay-back time.” 

(5 minutes later)

Levi rushed down the stairs leading to the basement and knocked the door open, ignoring the orders from Erwin to approach with caution. The sight and smell of the scene in front of him assaulted his senses brutally. You were naked and covered in blood, with a knife in your hand. Your face had the most maniacal expression he had ever seen and there was a noticeable aura of blood lust surrounding you. But when you turned to face him, your entire demeanor changed and you dropped the weapon hastily. Levi started towards you but you hurriedly backed into a corner like a terrified animal.

Erwin and Hanji came into the room next and Hanji cried out in relief when she saw you were alive. However, her expression soon turned to horror when she took in the surroundings. 

Two men were naked and had multiple lacerations on their body. The most disturbing sight was that their private parts had been hacked off and stuffed into their mouths.

“What did you do, (F/N)?”

* * *

(Present)

“Don’t you understand, Levi? I’m a vile creature. I killed those men, tortured them, and you know what? I enjoyed it!” you laughed crazily.

“I would have done it again if I had the choice. I’m dirty, Levi. My sin is too great. And no matter how much I try to wash it off, the blood on my hands and those guy’s pollutions won’t go off,” you said, clutching your sore arm that had turned red from all the scrubbing.

In a softer voice, you whispered, “I’m no longer pure. I’ve been… defiled.”

Before you had noticed it, Levi had already closed the distance between the two of you. He wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace, and ran his fingers through your hair. You tried to pull away but Levi had a strong hold on you, trapping your frame within his muscular body.

“(F/N), I don’t care what sins you’ve committed or the condition of your body and soul. I would readily accept any shit about you… just don’t leave me. I’ve lost enough people that I care about… I can’t lose you as well.”

“…but… why?” you sobbed in disbelief.

“Tch……. I love you brat.”

Those three simple words melted your heart, for you knew that Levi wasn’t the type to express his feelings. You lifted your head to look at him and his sincere expression conveyed everything you needed to know. He had truly accepted you for all that you were.

Under the first shower of April, the two of you shared a gentle kiss, reaffirming your commitment to one another. The rain soaked through your bodies, mixing with your tears and sinking into the ground where hope will blossom once again from the earth…

_...and sins washed away._


End file.
